


How Do You Find the Time?

by Fernajen



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, F/M, Humor, Post-Avengers (2012), Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Science Bros, Teasing, Theatre Format, Tony Stark Is Not Helping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-13 18:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20586947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fernajen/pseuds/Fernajen
Summary: Bruce Banner claims he has seven PHDs but considering the time, busywork, and not to mention money, that seems a bit unlikely. Tony "overhears" Bruce's claim and proceeds to act like well... Tony.





	How Do You Find the Time?

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this like a scene in a play because the story seemed to demand it. This takes place in between Avengers and Avengers: Age of Ultron. Enjoy!

Scene 1

_ Laboratory _

[Tony Stark _ walks into a laboratory on an upper floor at Avengers Tower, holding a folder. _ Bruce Banner _ is looking over some data on a computer screen, unaware of Tony’s entrance _.]

Tony Stark: "So I overheard you talking to Legolas the other day." 

Bruce Banner:[_ Looks up briefly from his work, somewhat distracted. _] "By 'overheard' you mean J.A.R.V.I.S clandestinely replayed it for you."

Tony: "That's besides the point. I mean, how did you find the time?"

Bruce: [Stops, _ turns to face Tony with a confused look _] "What?"

Tony: "Seven PhDs. Mind you I can only find the records for three."

Bruce: "I- uh- well, I might have been…. exaggerating to Clint. Explaining how much work goes into publishing gets- tedious."

Tony: "Huh. You were trying to impress Nat, weren't you?"

Bruce: [_ Caught off-guard] _ "What? [ _ Forces a large smile onto his face, though the smile still clearly has a grimace underneath it.] _N-no, where did you get that-."

Tony: "No, no, I get it, you were hoping he'd put in a good word for you. Don't worry though, I've got your back." [_ Pulls out four papers from his folder and tries to hand them to Bruce. Bruce looks at the folder, but doesn’t move to take them _]

Bruce: "What. No. Tony!"

Tony: "Hey, if you're going to lie about it, might as well do it right and go all the way. Get frames and everything. In fact, J.A.R.V.I.S., order me some frames, express delivery."

J.A.R.V.I.S: “Of course, sir, I will calculate the frame sizes now. Do you have any other specifications?”

Tony: “Ah. Yes. Get a variety. Unless, of course, Doctor Jekyll has something in mind.” [_ Taps Bruce with the papers. _]

Bruce: [_ Takes the papers and reads them aloud _] "Basket weaving. Basket weaving? Dude, I think you put the wrong name on here." 

Tony: [_ Looks over at the paper _ ] “No, I spelled your name right.” _ [Begins to walk off.] _

Bruce: _ [Following Tony’s movements] _“First, J.A.R.V.I.S spelled my name right. Second, only you’d be frivolous enough to get a degree for the heck of it.”

Tony: _ [Turns back to Bruce] _ “Firstly, I taught J.A.R.V.I.S how to spell. Secondly, basket weaving is a perfectly legitimate-” 

Bruce: “And rarely useful.”

Tony: “Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, just think of the possibilities! When Natasha see this she’ll know you can make her a hand-woven basket with… I don’t know, what goes into a basket? Guns, strangulation cords, bombs? Throw in a few chocolates for good measure.”

Bruce: _ [Drops papers in nearby trash can] _“Tony, please stay out of my love life.”

Tony: “But you, my friend, are the only person I know who is getting less action than Clint. And that’s saying something, because I don't think he’s getting any.” [_ Exit _]

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know Hawkeye is married(Laura/Clint forever!) but at this juncture in the story Tony doesn't.


End file.
